gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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