Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
