everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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