someone owes me an orgasm
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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