Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
