Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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