'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
