Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
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