We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
