they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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