Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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