The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
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