is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
