(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
