good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
