I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
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