It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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