I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
