Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
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