I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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