What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
