Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
she peed on how many people?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
