You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
