Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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