I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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