Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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