You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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