Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Randomize
