we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize