Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
