why didn't you poke me back
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
