I think I am morally bankrupt
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
