I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
