i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
