Need sex. Gaining weight.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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