thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
