I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
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