i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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