yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
