I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
