i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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