i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
It's blow job season.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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