Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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