everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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