im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
