I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
