Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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