He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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