This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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