So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
