She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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