just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
