im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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