I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
