You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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