Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
