chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
