I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
soo... how was my night?
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