dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize