I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
