It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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