I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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